Pennsylvania, PA - Local resident, "Ben" announced Tuesday that he was now "down to chopping up the last of much-needed but 'expendable' farmhouse's furniture in a "concerted effort to keep the flesh-eating zombies from devouring the people inside".

"We are moving forward with a plan now to stop up holes and fortify the myriad doors and windows," Ben told reporters while pounding in nails into broken wood to fortify the residence. Some of the wood now being used is from the casing of the television set, heretofore being their only contact with the outside world.

"Uh... there's a lot of holes up here, so we've had to make the painful decision to chop up the last of the furniture to fortify the residence, until... until someone comes to rescue us".

Barbara, one of the residents of the besieged farmhouse had this to say about their situation:

"There's nowhere to sit! There's nowhere to sit! We have used the last of the food! Johnny! Johnny! He has the keys! You don't understand! We have to go... get... Johnny!"

Mr. Cooper, another farmhouse resident, has consistently maintained his position that "the cellar is the safest place, you bastards."

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