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Cynical News Logo

Cynical News 2005:

Area Manic-Depressive, Feeling Much MUCH Better Today

Todd Roswell, local resident, and manic-depressive, announced that he feels much MUCH better today than yesterday.

"Yeah I don't know what I was thinking. Just 12 hours ago, I was, I hate to admit it, laying in bed, thinking of ways to kill myself," said Roswell. "But now, everything's fine. In fact it's great. I feel fantastic! Wonderful! And I'm getting so much done!".

Roswell has been using his suddenly improved mental state to clean his house, do laundry, work on his webpage, pay his bills, go shopping, run errands, write a 9 page manifesto, update his blog, write a letter to President Bush outlining his ideas for running the country, go jogging, listen to cd's, join Amnesty International, work on his resume, dance energetically around his apartment, and start a business selling his own brand of garlic-flavored crackers.

Roswell's friends were reportedly glad, that he's feeling better.

 

Creative Commons License Phineas Narco 2005
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License

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