Hollywood, CA - Award winning television personality and star reporter Geraldo Rivera may reportedly have to be hospitalized according to several sources after 'being in a state of almost continual orgasm' since the release of death photos of the recently slain sons of Saddam Hussein came out last week.
Rivera, who was essentially kicked out of Iraq during the height of the current conflict there, was found yesterday when a groundsworker, who speaking under the condition of anonymity, heard loud moaning coming from his condominium in Beverly Hills and rushed to investigate.
"I found him lying face down on the floor in a pile of papers, moaning and grinding his hips. Uh, the papers had what appeared to be all sorts of show names on them... and notes. Somethings like 'The Butcher Brothers of Bagdhad'... 'Sick Sex in Saddam's Palace of Evil' was another one... and "Hussein's Insane Offspring"... he kept going 'mmmmmm mmmmmm' and hitting buttons on his calculator and muttering something about 'shares', whatever that means. The death photos were everwhere with, you know, TV frames drawn around the borders in magic marker.....I don't know...."
Besides the apparently unstoppable orgasmic state, Rivera might also seek treatement for priapism, and have a muscle relaxant injected into his face to 'reign in' his constant rictus-like smile for the expected 9 prime-time FOX-TV specials he is apparently planning in coming weeks.