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Cynical News 2004:

 

Cynical News

 

Bush Working Hard to Find Iraq WMDs

WASHINGTON - President Bush, facing questions about his credibility, says the United States is working overtime to prove Saddam Hussein was developing weapons of mass destruction before the United States invaded Iraq.

"When it's all said and done," Bush said Monday, "the people of the United States and the world will realize that Saddam Hussein had a weapons program."

Bush has been on the defensive since the administration acknowledged it could not document his State of the Union claim in January that Iraq had been trying to buy uranium in Africa to develop nuclear weapons.

Sen. Bob Graham of Florida, a candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination, accused Bush of deception. "He deceived the American people by allowing into a State of the Union speech at a critical point when he was making the case for war with Iraq a statement that he either knew was wrong or should have known was wrong."

Rep. David Obey, D-Wis., said administration officials "should be reminded that what is at stake is not just the credibility of one man or even the credibility of the office of the president of the United States. What we place in the balance is the credibility of the United States as a nation and as leader of the free world."

 

In other news....

 

OJ Simpson Working Hard to Find Killers

OJ Simpson, facing questions about his credibility, says he is working overtime to prove 'other not at all nice people' plotted and carried out the murders of his ex-wife Nicole Kidman and her friend Ron Goldman.

"When it's all said and done," OJ said Monday, "the people of the United States and the world will realize that these killers had weapons, and they used them."

OJ has been on the defensive since being found not guilty in the infamous trial and said he could not document the veracity of his pre-trial claim that he was '100% Not Guilty'.

Attorney Vincent Bugliosi of LA County accused OJ of deception. "He deceived the American people by allowing into a trial record at a critical point in the trial, a statement that he either knew was wrong or should have known was wrong."

Judge Lance Ito said the public "should be reminded that what is at stake is not just the credibility of one man or even the credibility of the NFL. What we place in the balance is the credibility of the star of movies such as The Towering Inferno and several Naked Gun movies."

 

 

Creative Commons License Phineas Narco 2004
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License

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