Click to go to Home Page
-= A Latent Einstein Outreach Ministry by Phineas Narco of the Church of the Subgenius =-

Listen Live! >>Here<< Thurs. and Sun. at 10pm Eastern U.S. Time



Donate Button


Follow Us On:

NCN at Bandcamp NCN at Mixcloud
NCN at Facebook NCN at Twitter
NCN at NCN at Youtube

A Cynical News Story from 2003... a kind of dated spoof on a scam that was perpetrated by a woman in San Jose, California who claimed to find a fingertip in a bowl of chili from Wendy's in order to extort money from them (she had placed the fingertip in the chili, herself). She eventually did time, and was banned from Wendy's for the crime. Note - This is humor. As far as I know, no body parts have been found in McDonald's food.

finger in french fry box

San Jose, CA - In the latest of several 'body parts in fast food' incidents, comes the tale of Stan Burford, out of Minnihope, Arkansas, who claims he has found an entire severed finger in an order of McDonald's Large Fries.

"Yeah I wan't too surpised," said Burford. "I found a severed... toe... in mah Kentucky Fried Chicken a few weeks back. Then, last month I found part of a pickled ear in my vienna sausages that I got down at the Piggly Wiggly. I won't even tell you what I found in my Carl's Junior order of french toast sticks".

Thinking quickly, McDonald's has responded to the claim by announcing "We have a winner!" and will immediately give Burford a cash prize of $100,000.

McDonald's is planning to 'tie-in' the new find-the-body-part-in-the-fast-food craze with the upcoming Harry Potter movie, coming out this winter titled "Harry Potter and the Mystical Sorcerer's Detached Thumbnail".

ThoughtConduit v19.9.2B